Trust

I like to think that I have no attachments, no responsibilities. I am twenty years old and I can do whatever I want, right? Unfortunately, wrong. I’m beginning to understand that no matter how free and independent I feel my actions greatly affect those closest to me. I cannot just pick up and go to Africa without having an impact on some pretty important people in my life.

I am called to be in South Africa right now. I am learning lessons from the people I am meeting and experiences I am having that I would not be able to learn would I have stayed in Chicago this semester.  In bringing these lessons back with me I will enhance myself, my convictions and how I live my life, as well as the lives of those that I spend my time with. For many reasons that I am barely beginning to understand, God needs me here this semester.

Some things are easy to say, but incredibly difficult to accept. This semester is one of big changes in Chicago and Des Moines. In Chicago, my best friend, rock, and biggest supporter is graduating from Loyola University Chicago on May 13^th. I will still be here until June 19^th so I will be missing all of the festivities. This is a struggle for me because she has supported me through every part of this experience and I want to be able to show her the same support during this huge transitional period in her life.

Another huge event that is going on this semester is the introduction of a new life into my family. A family friend who has been like a sister to me for as long as I can remember is expecting her third son on April 11^th.  When the first two were born, one and half year old twins, I hung out in the hospital one night and held one of the boys for hours. He slept in my arms and I knew that those kids had my entire heart. I’m not going to be able to meet the new baby until he is about three months old and I’m struggling to feel like I’m not going to miss out on a lot.

Moral of the story: I have given up some important things to follow a call, as we all do, but I am learning to let go and let God and to understand that I need to be trusting God’s call for me. I am called to a life of simplicity, intentionality, and faithfulness. Because of this, I am beginning to realize that there will be times when I need to decide between following my call and other important things in my life. This semester is just one in a long line of times when I need to move forward putting all of my trust in God that I am making the right decisions.